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Anna's avatar

I’m familiar with ‘act as if’ terminology as it’s been applied in the field of psychotherapy. I understand the basic how it is applied in NLP as well. After many years of psychotherapy programming, I’ve decided that it’s okay for me to choose words that resonance with my own experience. Agency, curiosity, flow, satisfaction and clarity can be useful words or they make me feel more lost and alienated from others. Psychotherapists use the words all the time. They are also so well circulated in wellness that they’ve become more of cultural zeitgeist. Of course, curiosity is good. It can’t be bad can it? Except if you’re spying on your neighbor. Part of my deprogramming involves determining what these words to me. Otherwise, I’m just regurgitating what I feel is expected of me. We gain social currency when we speak and act like others. But what does it mean to act for ourselves? We can’t entirely reinvent language and vocabulary.

‘Fake it till you make it’ works for me as a phrase, but it’s not a sustainable way of living in the world. I also find it a problem if it’s a means to avoid intimacy and pain. If we’re always looking to be ‘that’ we’re not focusing on what is.

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Charity Erickson's avatar

This is a great idea, Chris. I love the words "agency, curiosity, flow, satisfaction, and clarity." I am now looking for ways to build this feeling into my day and live like I'm already successful in the lifestyle I am trying to build. I want to experience this feeling more rather than feel anxious and let my survival fears get the better of me. Thanks for the post!

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